Homeschool socialization and where friends come from

Homeschooled kids make friends the way adults do, through the things they show up to every week. Co-ops, sports teams, church, scouts, music lessons, library programs, neighbors, and cousins. It doesn't happen by default the way it does at school, so it needs planning, and some seasons will be lonelier than others.

What school actually gives, and what it doesn't

School puts a child in a room with twenty-some kids born the same year, every weekday. That's a lot of contact. It's also a narrow kind, almost all with one age group, and a lot of it is waiting in lines or being told to stop talking.

At home, kids spend more of their day with people of different ages. Younger siblings, grandparents, the neighbor, the librarian, the coach. That kind of time teaches its own things, like how to talk to an adult or be patient with a four-year-old.

Where to find other kids

• A homeschool co-op or group. Many areas have one, often through a church or a library. Some meet weekly for classes, some just for park days.
• Sports and activities. Rec leagues, swim teams, dance, martial arts, scouts, 4-H.
• Classes. Art, music, theater, or a science class at a museum or nature center.
• Church or your community. Youth groups and kids' programs.
• Public school activities. Some states let homeschoolers join school sports or classes. Check your state's rules and your district.

Plan it on purpose

Put something social on the calendar every week. It doesn't have to be much. A park day and a weekly class is plenty for most young kids. Look for things that meet regularly, because friendships grow from seeing the same kids again and again.

Teenagers need more

A twelve-year-old needs friends differently than a seven-year-old does. If you have a teen, look for groups where they see the same people often, like a team, a youth group, a job, or a class. Ask them how it's going, and believe them if they say they're lonely.

About the question itself

Somebody at a family dinner will ask about socialization. You can answer honestly, "She's on a swim team and we're in a co-op," and change the subject.

Your kid will make friends, and some of them will be forty years older than she is.